This drawing was the first of this new series in this new chapter of my life. I'm in a process of reclaiming parts of myself I have lost along the way. Really, this is something that is too easy for many of us women to do; to let go of passions, dreams, pieces of our personality in the name of motherhood, to keep our relationships together, to focus on our careers. Its an insidious process, one we don't notice before its too late because we never took the time to take stock of ourselves, take care of ourselves in the daily flurry of responsibilities and activities.
In this modern era where it is said "women can have it all; family, career, success," it feels more like "women should do it all; be the principle parent, work as hard as you can to have a successful career, and don't stop until you accomplish everything on your list." Its a masculine model cleverly disguised in the cloak of feminism. But true feminism recognizes the equality of the sexes, yet also embraces the inherent differences. So many of us have gotten the lines blurred.
Somewhere in there I lost the juice of what it means to be a woman. Somewhere in there I bought into that idea and stopped feeling my feminine nature, my sensual flow that embraces and gently caresses existence. I had lost that part of motherhood that was the tender look between my baby and I as she nursed on my breast, but instead became the power parenting of accomplishing perfection in my home and my kids. I had lost the sensual goddess that surrendered in ecstasy to the masculine power of my partner as we made tender love, but instead became the tired-overworked wife who went through the motions as another thing to do to keep the family machine rolling.
So I had to stop. I had to stop and feel MYSELF again. Not as a wife. Not as a mother. But just myself, reclaiming "Herself", the goddess. I've been learning to make love to myself once more. Make love to the goddess again.